Been reflecting on my musical journey this evening. Throughout middle school and high school, all I wanted to do was create. Yeah of course, past projects and songs weren’t always the bees knees. But it all contributed to my progress in one way or another. (Yes, even the screamo days. Kinda.)
But then came the pressure of real life. How do I survive? How do I achieve stability? I’m 22 years old, still in college, and grown up problems are knocking on my door every fucking day telling me to get a degree in business, find a desk job and secure my future. Side note: I’m not downplaying that. That is definitely a great plan to have. But is it me? No. I’ve always stayed true to myself. And when I think of staying true, all I can think of is making music for the rest of my life. Why it took me so long to realize this is beyond me. I’ve poured my heart and soul into it for years, and never took a step back and wondered “Wtf for?” And now that I realize the answer to that question, the only question resonating in my head now is “How could I not do this forever?” After dedicating nearly half of my short life to it, there’s no way in hell I’d let it just go to waste because it’s “risky”.
And it’s not just the notes and scales that have kept me around. It’s the power music has. The impact a lyric can make on someone’s mentality. The feelings you can provoke in someone with a simple melody. It’s addicting. Call me power hungry, but I can never get enough of it.
“Take back the waves. I’m fine in the calm of it all. I’d rather wake up with the salt in my mouth.”
I wrote that for April Chase last year in the bridge of “All You Need To Say.” My interpretation of that is this. I’ll take the insecurity of music. I’ll take the unreliable income. And I’ll take the instability of the field IN EXCHANGE FOR a future that I’ve worked my whole life for and ultimately wanted all along.
It’s late. Goodnight!
